Ms.- Mrs.

In 7 days, I will officially be a wife. No longer a bride but a wife to the man I have pledged to spend the rest of my life with. It seems like the easiest thing in the world to do/ be.

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks what with the last minute preparations, non stop celebrations and most of all, people flying in. I have to say, I am the MOST touched and humbled at the amount of people who have actually taken the time to fly in and witness Paolo & I get married.

Quite honestly, I don’t have a million friends but it is soo nice to know that the little friends that I do have have gone above and beyond to be with us on one of the most important days of our lives. It’s just so freakin’ surreal!

Papa and Miguel are finally home and it feels great to finally be a complete family again. There’s nothing like the sound of our laughter filling up a room and bonding with one another.

I am also blogging on the brand new MacBook Air that they got me (and Paolo) as a wedding gift. It’s really for me but Paolo is allowed to touch it.

I keep getting asked if I’m excited to get married or what it feels like to be almost wed. Honestly, things feel the same but the air is different. Everything is a little bit brighter and the people are lighter and you’re obviously constantly the centre of attention but between Paolo and I- it doesn’t really feel like things are really going to change. I’m ok with that. I mean, I don’t necessarily want them to unless if we finally decide to have kids.

I still have to finish my vows and all the other stuff I need to do for the wedding.

Good luck, Issa.

Advertisements

Weeks & Days

This week we celebrated our last monthsary as boyfriend and girlfriend

In about a month from now, we’ll be married

Today we will be sending out our invitations

Tomorrow we’ll be fitting your suit

In 20 days our friends and family will be home to celebrate with us

In 28 days all this chaos will be over

But it will still be you and me

Forever

And that’s all I’ve ever prayed for

My Amazing Sinulog Experience

My last few weeks and days have been absolutely dreamy. Of course, not everything was great, but I’m really glad that I got this experience anyways.

I wanted to share these photos with you because these are big things, my friend. Big, big things!

My eyebrows are super freakin’ itchy right now but I will sleep well tonight and wake up better in the morning. ♥️

Sleep tight!

It’s the eve of new year. Happy birthday to us! You are perhaps the longest commitment I’ve been able to keep and it has always been more than worth it.

I know it’s weird to love a digital object but I really do love you and I don’t know what my life would have been like if it weren’t for you.

Thank you for saving me so many times, for changing my life, for being the most tangible thing in my life.

Thank you for allowing me to have the best life simply by using my words and sharing my thoughts and just being the many versions of me, as we’ve witnessed over the years.

I know we don’t talk as much but I try and I’ll try harder especially in these times where I need to tell you so many things, the most things I’ve ever had to say, in fact.

Happy New Year, Happy Birthday and I love you! ❤

Do Not Blog & Drive

I haven’t had coffee the entire day and I am just realizing that this is the one thing missing from my life.

There is chicken and liempo in the car and I am just dying to rip apart this paper bag and eat everything with my bare hands. Traffic is fo shore going to be the death of me.

I just wanna be home, sitting on the couch and watching fish videos with my Paolobear.

I don’t think you guys realize how dependent I am. 😂

Happy to say I’m not completely horrible at cooking and that One day I’ll actually be able to feed a family anything other than take out

I’m Back

It’s been a weird couple of months having fully been submersed in H&S business. I’m still adjusting to running a business and not wanting to let anyone, yet alone myself, down but at the same time- I can’t help but miss the things I often have to sacrifice. It’s embarrassing to admit that I’m talking about creating content but God I love it so much- even writing here is exhilarating!

I think more than anything, I just like having a physical outlet for my thoughts.

More than that, I’ve been extremely passionate about creating content that will help educate the general public. I don’t know if it will ever pick up or if anyone really likes it but if I’ve stuck by doing all the stupid shit I do online, why should something I truly believe in be any different, right?

There’s a lot of superficialities going on in what i used to consider “my space” right now and I hate it. Maybe because I’m getting older and I could care less about disbanding of gangs , what’s inside people’s bags and what they put on their face. I’m not for everybody and it’s tough. Sometimes I wish for a little bit more payoff from the work I’ve put in but I try to remind myself that I don’t really work THAT hard. 😂 not for the vlog and blog, at least. Let’s be honest. But I’ll try harder.

Maybe that’s why I’ve been in a “rut” lately because I’m not creating content and I can’t create because I’m in a rut and I refuse to try harder. It’s all so confusing right now.

Side note: we still have a wedding to plan and less than 6 months to plan it.

Holy fucking shit. And I still can’t decide on our invitations.

Ok. Now I’m starting to worry 😂

Bye content, I gotta get married first!

Hello

I just wanted to let you know that everything in my life is dandy.

The start of the year was a bit meh but I feel like I’m in a good space right now where I’m finally learning how to handle my life a lot better. On some days I wish I could be richer and buy myself a Jimny or a Juke but you know some of us just don’t have that luxury. lol.

At one point, I felt like God was listening to every.single.prayer I made which made me realize that I wasn’t being very specific with the things I had been asking of Him. For starters, I prayed that I would be soo busy that my days would be soo filled that I no longer had space in my head to think about the loneliness I felt and He provided so much that I didn’t quite have time for anything. So I decided to pray for dog days that it eventually made me soo bored I could almost hear the ants marching on our counter table- it was horrible. So I learned to be smarter with the ways that I asked God/ the universe for things.

Now, I just want my days to be filled with opportunities that will allow me to grow in my craft; business; knowledge and the like. That I have time to come home to my family and enjoy Facebook video calls or watch Paolo play on his PS while I write down this blog entry or even binge on a documentary like I’ve been planning to. I pray for enough time to camp out under the stars even if it means rushing from an event to the mountains and you know… stuff like that.

I pray for head space and clarity and long, thoughtful moments of emptiness that I can fill with my most wildest thoughts and imaginations…

You know, the normal stuff.

But in general, I wanted to let you know that I am happy. I am contented but I am still thirsty. I am curious and eager to learn. I am also hungry at it’s already 11:28 pm.

I also might have a fever so I’m gonna watch some Harry Potter and not charge my phone until the morning cuz I left my wire in the car.

Love you & thanks for listening. I miss you.

 

 

Doomsday

Surprisingly, it doesn’t feel as bad as I thought it would.

I had imagined, in Paolo’s own words- devastation.

But there’s a surprising lightness to it.

I am still very sad about things, don’t get me wrong, but now it’s more like, well, we always knew it was going to happen and now it finally is.

How selfish would I be if I begged, kicked and cried for everyone to stay while I lived my best life and they just… lived.

Of course I want all of us to be happy together but let’s be honest, even I’m not supposed to be here. I’m the one who broke the plans.

So I cannot complain and make everyone else suffer with me.

 

And I guess this is just how things are going to be from now on…

distant.

We booked the church last weekend. April 27, 2019 at 1:30 pm. We were gonna do it in the morning but then that would mean having to wake up at 3:00 in the morning and god knows, I’m not waking up that early. Not even for that.

We’ve been trying to find a house, too. Lately it’s been hits and misses but I think we finally found something we can actually pay off after slaving our days away. I’ve decided to Sims it so I can pretend we’re actually living there and you know… decorate it.

The place is a Spanish type townhouse, aka not my type but it’s got a garden, it’s safe and it has everything we’ve ever wanted (parking space, among other things). But in all honesty and it feels weird to actually say it, but I want to raise babies there. I want our dogs and kids to run around there. I want to be a grown up there.

But we’ll see. Who’s rushing anyways? ☺️