for some reason.. i’ve lost all hope all happiness and content.


there;s something terribly mising and if i gve all that left of me. which i haven’t done completely before,  how would i? what would become of me?


i dont wanna be lost anymore

ok, so aside from this school week being totally useless as always, things have been up and things, as always have been going down.3 more weeks till summer.. i can take that, right? right. besides, all we had to do was watch movies [a walk to remember and d anoders. crappy, senseless movie, i tell you] and do groupiez and shit. groupies.. i said that this week. de ja vou.


aside from that, last thursday was campaign day. i know i promised never to render my lousy leadership to anyone anymore for as long as i’m alive but.. it’s not like i can help it. it’s gut, you know? lol. plus, our party’s aiight. i like the people.so that day, the COURAGE party and the ACTS party went to Gorordo first. btw, COURAGE, that’s us, stands for Confident Outragous United Righteous? Advocates who are Groovy and Extra-ordinary. tamae. josh. michelle. jet. me. tara. kathya. giovie. kristina. king. myka. and the opposing team, ACTS. Alliance [remind me of the church.. i think i was baptised there. what was it? alliance of two hearts? blah] of Commited and Trustworthy Students. anne. joan. akki. lalaine. cassey. lawrence. girlie. ken. fil. i do not remember the rest.. but i don’t give a fuck.


anyways, you’d think that there wouldn’t be any competition, slitting of necks and wanting to fucking crush those bitches into pieces considering it is a tiny school and it’s completely hopeless anyways… you we’re seriously wrong.i’ll get to the drama and intimate details and bitchy thoughts in a second… wait!so, yeah. we went to classroom to classroom trying to convince these children to vote for us cuz we want to make their next school year a better one for them and blah blah. i mean, it’s not like i don’t .. but, with mmch.. i bet those ego sulcking villamors are just gonna suck the fun out of everything like ALWAYS. but to hell with them, one day i’ll be rich and buy the lot. scratch that, one day i’ll build my own school. and i’ll take all their students and make those freaks crawl on glass for my remorse. haha. what a dream.


so here’s the part i know you’re hyped up about:


so, yeah. the drama of politics. haha. so. yeah. this BITCHES [yes honey’s, there are alot of you. and  if you MUST know, you ARE a bunch of fuggly skanks and I don’t like you’ze but that shouldn’t bother you much.. my ego would bite.. but i’ll bitch at you, that’s ONE thing] were all up in our parties faces and we’re feeling themselves too much. i mean, who the hell did you think you were sons?! being like that and everything. i pity you. sos, freshmen. i had a reason why i never liked you. and the other one.. with the hair. shave it off and get a fucking life before i go to the mall and bust a whole lot of money which, i don’t have just to buy one for you. [i’m pissed, forgive me, then leave and play with your imaginary friedns. rrrr.] argh. whatver. im through.


moving on….


my day was good. me and papa watched “rumore has it” it was a veery cute movie. got boring in the middle but the world’s too overrate for that too.


uno dos tres kwatro kwatro singko singko sies.


the world needs wannabe’s… do that freaky thang


and p.s. rodney’s going to prom with kristian. blink blink.hurl!



another saturday. what now?


today was the first day of stc’s sportfest! 😛 and once again, i broke my promise to chub that i’d ride to school with her. is it really my fault that i can’t wake up early anymore? let’s see you do it. 😛


so, i got to stc and no one was there. well, there were people but not as much as there wil be tomorrow and i can’t wait! 🙂 i just hope i don’t mess up and get grounded. it’s the latest fad.. so i’ve heard.
well, yeah. grr. mther read this part. oh well. did i do anything wrong? hm. negative i’ve been flawless. 😛
i got to buy stickers for 10 bucks! the stuff there were so cheap! god, i need money tomorrow. mother! lol. hen we caught up with chub’s friends from springdale and i think she has a new man in her life. oie chub. publicize it? sah man? lol.
chad, chab and i got to run around crazy in the rain. damn, that was fun 😀
nya m square. chub’s house. home.


i stole nina’s chick, orange. im a proud mother. 😀 but i still love fat rat. orange is really orange. ANIMAL RIGHTS please.i’ll rant later! 😛

today. wow. today.


ok, so as you all know, the thing we’ve been practicing and spending precious money on was today. yeah, today. wow. today.


well, i hated it. i swear i looked like a hoe fo playboi in those school ghurl editions cept i was lacking the bunnie ears but.. i swear, i felt like it and the teachers kept putting shit on my face. big ol earings. make up. bracelets. o, i’m not a barbie doll.. play with someone else if you must. damn. i hate todaii. the presentation was aiight i guess. and yeah… i did screw up but i’m over that. i have completely forgotten todai. no, not really. neweiz. i have hatahz now. wow. like wheni was doing my thing. i could see their jealous grins. hey, hating me won’t make you look better. live it. lol. and like, yeah. i screwed it up. no eye contact, practices were obviously better. i guess it got overrated. lol. then the candids… make me feel uglier. pfft. shutting up.


well..i wanted to rant. but i think i’ve done that soo many time you proi dont want to hear it.


but yeah, parents got married yesterday.

for the sake of kevin and also for the sake of blogging myself tonight.. i will tell me story.


well, for some reason i’ve been feeling ve-hairy off track today. i unno, aside from all the superficial reasons.. man, it sounds so weird talking about it. makes me feel like i need a shrink or that i’m emotionally challenged. maybe i am. so, just shuttup and let the retard talk. lol. mee


so let me rant:


you know what? i really have no idea why everyone’s making a big ol fuss about everything. wasn’t this whole thing supposedly between just me and my dad and my mom and papa if i must add. but really, now my aunt’s are part of it and my grand parents. wtf. so the drama. and honestly, when they do that.. they just don’t know how hard it is. like the impact and everything. considering alvin is one thing. considering my parents is another but considering everyone?! that’s just something to hard to take. [eyes are starting to get watery] i honestly hate every bit of it. i thought i was old enough to make my own decisions. but here they come trying to tell me what they think is right. what they think rhe right decision is. i mean, they never stopped to ask me what I wanted. except my parent’s of course. it’s just so iritating. they think that … rr. i don’t know what they’re thinking.i just know that they’re complicating everything.


i really don’t want to hurt anyone. but that’s just a stupid thing to say cuz i know that either way.. i will eventually end up hurting someone. but i’m scared of the people i might end up hurting.


it’s not about the petition or the adoption anymore. i want both. but i want the adoption more. it’s not so much of the title anymore.. it’s skin deep.it’s acceptance. or.. it’s like one of the things i’m good at… running away. lol.


i keep asking myself if i owe granny that i’d let her have things her way this time. but, she never wanted me in the first place. so, that’s a no.


i keep getting stuck with second chances and the fear of regretting. this life… is just more than i can handle. i hope someone dies before i do.


bounce

for the sake of kevin and also for the sake of blogging myself tonight.. i will tell me story.


well, for some reason i’ve been feeling ve-hairy off track today. i unno, aside from all the superficial reasons.. man, it sounds so weird talking about it. makes me feel like i need a shrink or that i’m emotionally challenged. maybe i am. so, just shuttup and let the retard talk. lol. mee


so let me rant:


you know what? i really have no idea why everyone’s making a big ol fuss about everything. wasn’t this whole thing supposedly between just me and my dad and my mom and papa if i must add. but really, now my aunt’s are part of it and my grand parents. wtf. so the drama. and honestly, when they do that.. they just don’t know how hard it is. like the impact and everything. considering alvin is one thing. considering my parents is another but considering everyone?! that’s just something to hard to take. [eyes are starting to get watery] i honestly hate every bit of it. i thought i was old enough to make my own decisions. but here they come trying to tell me what they think is right. what they think rhe right decision is. i mean, they never stopped to ask me what I wanted. except my parent’s of course. it’s just so iritating. they think that … rr. i don’t know what they’re thinking.i just know that they’re complicating everything.


i really don’t want to hurt anyone. but that’s just a stupid thing to say cuz i know that either way.. i will eventually end up hurting someone. but i’m scared of the people i might end up hurting.


it’s not about the petition or the adoption anymore. i want both. but i want the adoption more. it’s not so much of the title anymore.. it’s skin deep.it’s acceptance. or.. it’s like one of the things i’m good at… running away. lol.


i keep asking myself if i owe granny that i’d let her have things her way this time. but, she never wanted me in the first place. so, that’s a no.


i keep getting stuck with second chances and the fear of regretting. this life… is just more than i can handle. i hope someone dies before i do.


bounce

at an internet cafe… doing nothing.


bought shoes for prom. mom’s getting a facial. then off for a mani-ped. just cuz she’s getting married tomorrow. lol


i helped her look for a top and shoes. my mission is complete. lol


woke up at around 12 today. haha.


heard the news that everythin’s fucked up cuza me. haha. not my fault.

.happy “you know what i’m gonna say but i really don’t want to say it so use your imagination instead and pretend you read it” day.


i would explain the pessimism but i would rather spare the space. it wasn’t that bad actually. the good side of a co-ed school, i guess. and yeah, i got flowers and chocolate. thank you, children. i shall brag about it to my grand children one day. :p lotsa shit had been going on at school too. josh’s was the absolute sweetest and plus points, to my best friend! 😀 kathya and josh. uh-huh. uh-huh.


WILL YOU BE MY F’IN VALEN-TINE?


Precious. i know they’ll have children someday. uhm.. what did i just say?


then dylan and joan smooched outside the second year copper class. woah. and shaldon gave tamae a cake, wore a shirt with a quote on it and gave her roses and chocolates [my fucking idea!]


aside from the valentines bug, we all had practice for this friday. i unno, i didn’t enjoy it much. something just changed and i can’t seem to put my finger on it… i wouldn’t want to. i got pissed today pa gyud. that definitely made my day better. fcuk teacher liezl. pig pig pig. roar.


kathya prosposed. she gave me a ring. it was the absolute cutest. blue lights. hate chew. 😛


but yeah. choc’s in the fridge. flower’s in the vase. everyone acting gitty.


happy valentines.