another close encounter [with death?]

well, around last November 2006, i caught dengue []
. according to the doctors, it was my second time because apparently, the virus hit me so fast and that wasn’t normal if it was my first. i guess i never got admitted in the hospital the first time cuz i got better from it or something. but they say that once you’ve gotten it once, you’re immune system gets weaker the second or third time around.

luckily, i survived that one.

ok, btw, this is a follow up post on my sick day blog.

on tuesday night, i started having a really high fever again which i caught on monday and lost that evening.but on tuesday night, my whole body was aching and so was my stomach. i was just lying on our couch burning up but i was still freezing on the inside.

i didn’t really expect it to be dengue cuz ever since the second time, my mom has been really paranoid and i guess so have i. so, no one really bothered checking if it was dengue or not except my papa. i’m just really lucky that he has these amazing instincts. Cuz before we went to have dinner at my grandparent’s place, he took me to the hospital to get a blood test. [you can usually tell if you have the virus through a blood test/ cbc].

that night, my parents got the results and again, it was dengue.

Dengue fever (IPA: /ˈdɛŋgeɪ/) and dengue hemorrhagic fever (DHF) are acute febrile diseases, found in the tropics and Africa, with a geographical spread similar to malaria.[1]
One major difference, however, is that malaria is often eradicated in
major cities, whereas dengue is often found in urban areas of developed
tropical nations, including Singapore, Taiwan, Indonesia, and Brazil. Caused by one of four closely related virus serotypes of the genus Flavivirus, family Flaviviridae,
each serotype is sufficiently different that there is no
cross-protection and epidemics caused by multiple serotypes
(hyperendemicity) can occur. Dengue is transmitted to humans by the Aedes aegypti (rarely Aedes albopictus) mosquito, which feeds during the day.[2]

c/o wikipedia

those are really deep words. so, just to make it a little simpler, dengue supposedly kills your platelets until you die and up until now, they don’t have a cure for it. so while you’re at the hospital, the only thing you do there is get dextrose so you don’t dehydrate and just wait til your platelets reach 40 thousand so they can give you a blood transfusion so you don’t run out of platelets.

but us Filipinos usually have a trick or two up our sleeves. i had to drink this herbal drink called mangagaw and apples that had turned brown. i guess it worked cuz i’m home now. 🙂

well, anyways, once the parents knew that i had dengue, they decided not to admit me in the hospital yet cuz we didn’t have money for the downpayment of the hospital i was supposed to be admitted to which was 8,000 pesos. ouch much? so instead they monitored me and agreed that if i would have any complications that night then they would admit me.

that night i dreamt i died… again. just like the night before. and i am NOT kidding. lmao.

but i guess i slept through the night cuz i only got admitted the morning after that since my platelets had dropped from a 126 – 110.

my lowest platelet count was 92.

well anyways, since there’s no cure for dengue, just like everyone else, i had to wait til i either got better or got worse. but james, idk how he did it, found me medicine that supposedly made me better.

carlow, james’s close friend’s, dad is a doctor practicing alternaive medicine. he talked to his dad and he gave me traumeel. and yeah, i guess i’m still alive cuz of it. tacky, i know but who cares. i could’ve been dead right now.

so yeah, i was there for 4 long boring days but at least i got out.

i’m proud to say i survived the 4 am wake up calls which was a routine of taking blood out of me [my left arm is practically full of bruises], getting my blood pressure, temperature, pulse and asking me a series of annoying questions like, how many times did you pee and how many cups of pee were there, how many cups of fluids did you take and did you poo. [you’d think they’d think of a more convenient time to ask you these stupid questions aside from 4 am. seriously.] btw, to make dengue just a bit tastier, i had my period. imagine that.

james took care of me every single day right after class and that really meant alot to me. i’m just really lucky to have him. and my mom who took care of me during the evenings and woke up every time i needed to use the loo. HAHA.

i had friends who visited and sadly, friends who didn’t. that really hurt and now i don’t wanna talk to them. but that’s just that. cuz honestly, if any of them got rushed to the hospital or if any of them needed my help, i’d be there for them. but it sucks that when i needed them, when i needed company, when , i needed to know they cared for me, they never showed up or bothered to ask how i was doing while i was there. i was had to look for them and beg them to come. they weren’t there the 1st time i got admitted and the second time either and yeah, i don’t know what that proves but it just makes me really sad.

i missed STC’s family day but i figured that that’s ok. i fought with my mom because the first thing i wanted to do when i got out was go to stc with my friends- friends who coudn’t even visit me for 10 min. and that just really sucks. but yeah. we’ll just see how things’ll work out.

here are some pictures i took while i was there.

just thought i’d a humorous about it. lmao.

honestly, i knew i wasnt going to die. but i was scared, i just never told anyone. i didn’t want to pray while i was there cuz i didn’t know what to say. i didn’t want to pray to god that he would spare my life cuz i knew he wouldn’t take it away, anyways. call me faithful but idk, i just knew it wasn’t my time yet.

but i’m glad this is over.

last year (2007), 27 people in my city alone died. a little boy from my school died, too.

and honestly, right now, i can’t help but wonder, why does God keep saving me every single time?

sick day

ugh. i’m sick. can you believe that? i never get sick anymore!!

well, i’m not the type to complain especially when it comes to buying a couple of days out of school but what sucks is that, my parents think i have UTI [cuz i said i had back pains] and worst of all, my mom thinks i have it cuz i’m SEXUALLY ACTIVE. hahaha. oh, god. how miserbale would she be when she found out i was as clean as a spoon. lmao.

seriously, i hate the fact that everyone thinks that being in a serious relationship means actually having sex. i’ve been with james for 10 long months now and i’ve never done it with him and quite honestly, i don’t plan to. not until marriage. and i do plan to marry the ass… someday.

why can’t anyone just be happily inlove anymore?

for your eyes only:
my mom got pregnant at 17. so you’d understand the paranoia level…

AFTER PARTIES and promenades.

prom sucked. but the after party was amazing. i love every single bit of james no matter how complicated we may be. i think the whole drama with prom and the teachers felt like nothing to me cuza him.. yey.



i never come home sober anymore.

not in the mood to write. maybe llater.

what happened to the times when all we did was fall in love?

Somehow, I need to make you
understand how everything we say and do is connected to everything in general.
When I say you make me feel like you are being unappreciative, i mean it
because when we fight over dumb things, it makes me feel like it in general.


try to make you happy by doing things for you in the same way you do. And when
I’m happy, it’ll take a lot from you to make me mad again because I don’t want
to ruin the good times, because I trust you cuz I know you love me and you
don’t want to hurt me.


somehow, I always seem to get extremely hurt when I try to do my best to make
you happy and something simple like a “do you wanna talk later” is all it takes
to make you mad. It’s like, everything I do is for nothing. I try to make you
happy for so many reasons. So you’ll know how much you mean to me, so you won’t
get that mad easily, so you’ll earn my trust.


somehow, I am always never enough because after a few days, we’re back to right
where we started. Fighting and wanting to kill each other… again.


i tried to make you understand this before but you didn’t get it.


always say na gi labot nako ang walai apil but that’s not it.


            And  I don’t know how to make you understand this.


running out of ideas.



will you be brave enough to dance with me tonight?

today is…


and i am sooo hyped. i have the dress i wanted [and designed] and i have everything i’m gonna need for tonight and i’m just waiting for 2:30 so i can go to wendell’s shop and get my hair and make up made.

lmao. weeeeeeee. zooom zooom zoooooooooooooooooooooooom.

i’m hyper.

oh, and btw, i lost my wallet. with all my important stuff in it. and now i have no money for prom 😦

dress. butit’s not finished in this picture yet. i forgot to take a picture of it
when it was done.

hair i THINK i want.

don’t you forget about me..

i’m wasting time right now and taking advantage of this glorious moment to blog.. because i can. lmao.

i’m at jy square waiting for my mom and my aunt to come so we can get my prom dress fitted. i’ve got my fingers crossed that my dress looks exactly how i’ve dreamed it to be. i’m so bored right now. it’s unexplainable. lmao.

but i did happen to have a pretty good morning, fun and spontaneous- just how i like my days.

nina woke me up pretty early and she begged that i’d go to cdu with her while she took her exam and i, with no doubt, said yes. i got to suprised james and hang out with my best friend. that was fun.

so far i’ve had:
a shake
fried ice cream [yes, fried]
and an ice smoothie.

i’m feeling drowsy. proli cuz i’m full.

i’ll be going back to SM in a bit and then me and james’ll buy my prom stuff and watch tuesdays with morrie, on account it’s my project.

i have a dinner party for layla’s 18th and a crazy, happenin’ all girls debut to go to, too.

this is the life. ❤

james. please reply, you maniac!!