18.

it’s been 2 days since i turned 18 and 1 day until my big party. james is in ilo-ilo and i am just hyped. 🙂

i’ll blog later when i’m not so busy.

18.

it’s been 2 days since i turned 18 and 1 day until my big party. james is in ilo-ilo and i am just hyped. 🙂

i’ll blog later when i’m not so busy.

scratched and bruised.

just woke up after 15 hours of sleep- the most awesome sleep i’ve EVER had.

yeah, i just came back from the beach and i must say, it was AWESOME!!! 🙂

me and james stayed up all night and watched the sun rise and talked about shit. and when it was time to sleep, i just ended up kissing him the whole time. it was something i’m never going to forget and something i’d definitely do again.

i’m bruised and scratched all over now though and i don’t even have THAT many pictures. i guess that’s the down side of NOT HAVING A CAMERA. haha. but gaaah whatever.

i wanna narrate everything that happened but i’m just too lazy to.

i just had so much fun…!!

 

i’m going to a stop light party tonight.

green if youre single
yellow/ orange if “it’s complicated” and
red if you’re aken.

i’m probably going in yellow. i d k about james..

we’ll find out.

the big V

virginity

yeah, you heard me right. i’m talking about it. i don’t know why but i feel like i’m at a stage in my life where it’s just right to talk about it – i feel like it’s time. NOT TO LOOSE IT but to OPEN UP ABOUT IT.

i’m almost turning 18 and i’m one the eldest in my circle of friends and despite the age issue, i’m one of the few left among us who is still a virgin. and if i did decide to do it in the near future, i would still be one of the few who has done it with only one guy.

i don’t know why this is so suprising to me right now but what’s the big deal with sex anyways?

i can honestly say that i’ve gone as far as i need to go in my relationship [or should i say past :(] but i’ve always tried to “keep the confetti in my closet” and i have to be honest, it’s hard. waaaaaay hard. and i hate being in this situation where i shouldn’t do “it” but a big part of me wants to. i hate the fact that i could possibly be open to the idea of actually having sex now. it just shouldn’t be this way. my mind should be made up and it should be saying NO to this.

but then when you’re thrown out there, sometimes i feel like “what the hell..” and then everything just seems different.

i wanna stay clean for as long as i can but why does it feel like mission impossible to me?

everyone’s asking if there’s a right time and place to do it but everyone’s going against all the answers they know by heart and it sucks because my friends should know better.

i should know better to know that sex outside of marriage shouldn’t even be an option!

i guess it’s just a matter of choice now. if i do it, it should be something i can look back and not feel stupid about. it should be meaningful. it HAS to be love and nothing less.

are YOU a virgin?
and if not, how was your first time?

anything but ordinary

i feel like such a hypocrite for saying things like i was ok and that i was doing fine without james in my past entries
because the truth is and i just realized it today- i love being around him so much. i just remembered how it felt to not care about anything and be random and it was fun. and i know it’s just a kiss but when he kissed me today i felt good and it made me miss him even more.

i know we act like nothing happened like we’re still together but there’s always this great feeling of security when you know you guys are on the same page with things. i wanna get back 😦

i had so much fun today and this wednesday, we’re all going to bogo with friends for 2 days. i hope we patch things up- i’d hate having to celebrate my birthday without a proper boyfriend.

colon was fun. this party feels like it’s gonna be a lot of fun. oooh i’m excited.

getting there

i no longer have classes anymore and today, i stayed in bed til 11 in the morning, i took a bath in the rain and then i took a real shower! [something totally unexpected!] then i went to have my cup cakes for my party made and then i had my nails done – now they’re really pretty! 🙂

i had quesadillas for snacks and candy, too.

now i’m on the pc trying to make the layout and minus one song for casey.

i did this without seeing james today and i don’t miss him at all. even if we might be getting back together, i can definitely say that i can make it on my own without him after all.

miguel is awesome! 😉

xoxo

I’M ALMOST 18!!!