i honestly truly love you..

you complain that i’m not good with words because i don’t constantly tell you that i love you. it’s not that i don’t know how to play with words, it’s just that, i’m scared you’ve heard whatever i have to say to you before because i am just one out of your million.

but if you must know the truth, i don’t know what to say to you. I love you so much that my words would never be good enough to justify that. I love you so much that i fear that nothing i could ever do would ever add up to these feelings inside me. You are too perfect for me. I don’t deserve you. But i have you anyways and you make everything in my life so wonderfully perfect.

I know we’re not always ok and i’m fine with that because i am finally ok with the fact that i cannot always have everything. And i’m coming to terms with the fact that i don’t always have to be ok- i just have to be with you.

They say you only live once and now that i have you, i could really only ask for one life. Because what would my life be like without you in it.

I am crazy in love with you. and i mean it. ❤

Advertisements

an ode to name dropping

so… i did the one thing i told myself i would never do, dig into my boyfriends’ past and make it my business. i don’t know what came over me at all or why i even bothered but i did and now i feel like i purposely drank sour milk. and it’s rotting in my mouth and i want to cry but in the end.. it’s still my fault for drinking the god damn milk anyways..

and now i feel like shit.

everyday

i always say this because i always mean this.

i may not always be IN love with you
but i will ALWAYS love you

and i mean this with all my heart. i don’t know if this is offensive or not but this is how i feel most of the time.

i may not always oggle over us or be capable of being sweet all day everyday because i am not programmed that way but every single day, every second of my life, i will love you because you are the one of the very few things that seems worth it to me.

you don’t only give me the inspiration to value just you but you make me value everything else in my life more. i used to not came about anything but now i see importance in a lot of things i never paid attention to before.

i never wanna lose you. if i did, i know i’d never be as lucky as i am now.

for you to notice

i do not base my relationships on the amount of money someone has or the car he drives or the people he knows. i do not choose who i give my heart to because it’s what people tell me to do or because or because it’s practical or because i can show him off. i do not love someone especially for what they have but i love someone because of who they are what they have although it may not always be much and because there is something in that person that makes me feel like i want to be that person to put a smile on their face every single day.

that is why i don’t appreciate it when people talk about love like it’s a trust fund. so what if he’s not as rich as your ex husband? what is wealth when you’re miserable all your life? it’s people like YOU that i hate the most. GET A LIFE. life with money MAY be easy but it’s not always the perfect picture.

you should know. you’re still married to a wealthy man who cheats on you and beats the hell out of you. Go forth and marry another rich guy. because you refuse to marry someone lower than him.

dumbass.