Traditions, Traditions- My Take on 2012

To view my answers from 2007 – 2010 click the link: http://aa-bebe-phat-aa.xanga.com/weblog/?uni-22-direction=p&uni-22-nextdate=12%2f31%2f2010+0%3a0%3a0.000#module–22

I will try to be as realistic as I can this year mostly because I don’t feel the need to please anyone who reads this anymore

 

1. Will you be looking for a new job?

It doesn’t really matter what I’m doing specifically. I just want the passion and the drive to do it and to keep doing it for a very long time.

 

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?

I’m in a relationship now and I really don’t feel the need to find another one. Hopefully not though.

 

3. New house?

I’m hoping to move out. But we’ll see if I have the money and the willpower to do so. If not in 2011 then maybe the next.

 

4. What will you do different in 12?

I don’t know. I refuse to think about these kinds of things either.

 

5. New Years’ resolutions?

I have none

 or..

 

6. What will you not be doing in 2011?

Loosing myself and forgetting my priorities.

I will not be so angry and temperamental.

I will not allow myself to destroy the things that are good for me.

 

7. Any trips planned?

Manila

Boracay

China

Anywhere good for business

 

8. Wedding plans?

Definitely not for myself.

 

9. Major thing on your calendar?

April 15, 2012 – Graduation!

December 12, 2012

 

10. What can’t you wait for?

I cannot wait to graduate and start working and finally be able to go to design school.

 

11. What would you like to see happen differently?

I would like to actually do something that I am passionate about for once. And also have things change with me and my papa. I can’t always be his little girl.

 

12. What about you will you be changing?

Yeah, I refuse to answer questions like this. Completely pointless.

 

13. What happened in 2011 that you didn’t think would ever happen?

I never thought that I would stumble and have to pick myself up so many times this year. Too many times.

 

14. Will you be nice to the people you care about?

Without a doubt in my mind.

 

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 2012?

I’ve learned that style and taste are things that you are born with and not really something you acquire. So whether or not I choose to dress up or down, my only wish is to do so with grace and class.

 

16. Will you start or quit smoking?

Hoping to stop like I do every year.

 

17. Will you better your relationship with your family?

Yes. I will try to have the patience to not want to kill Casey, a longer attention span for Miguel, a more listening ear for my mom and I’ll try to be more understanding to my papa.

 

18. Will you do charity work?

If the opportunity presents itself then by all means, yes.

 

19. Will you go to bars?

If I have to.

 

20. Will you be nice to people you don’t know?

Nice to people who deserve it. Seriously, what kind of questions are these? I can’t believe I allowed myself to answer the same shit every year.

 

21. Do you expect 2012 to be a good year for you?

I am never one to expect. Whatever happens happens, you know.

 

22. How much did you change from this time ‘til now?

I am always changing because that is the most natural thing to do.

 

23. Do you plan have on having a child?

Yes, I do. But not any time soon.

 

24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with?

I really can’t say.

 

25. Major lifestyle changes?

I’ll finally be done with college then I’ll work for a year, probably move out of the house and start living on my own. I’ve never actually lived on my own before so I guess that’s the most major anything can get right now.

 

26. Will you be moving?

Well, it depends.

 

27. What will you make sure doesn’t happen in 2012?

I will not get pregnant, I will not NOT graduate and I will not do anything that could possibly get me killed. I could be more serious but I don’t want to. Lol

 

28. What are you New Year’s Eve plans?

Like tradition, stay up all night drinking and reminiscing on the year that was. Oh this terrible year.

 

29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?

Yes, hopefully. If I don’t get him at midnight I’ll get him some time after that. J

 

30. One wish for 2012?

That the world will not end. I still have so much to look forward to.

 


2011 in retrospect:

My favorite part of my year ending blog entry is being able to look back at the year that was from a different perspective. When everything’s over and done with and I can just look back at them and know that I was able to endure them brings me to such a higher place. And when I am reminded of the things that have pained me, it reminds me that I am half human [half pokemon] after all, and those things that I’d most of the time rather not remember, have only made me more human and in the process stronger.

I have had so many high points and low points this year but one thing that I am proudest of would definitely have to be being able to prove my worth and what I am capable of not only to myself but to other people as well. You may or may not agree with me on this one, but the things I’ve accomplished in the year mean soo much to me not because it is something I can account for but mostly because doing these things gave me a clearer picture of what I want for myself in the years to come. For a while it was a very hazy photo. You would know, my ever dearest blog of 7-8 years.

Made friends,found love (or what I thought was love) and lost very terribly. I lived and I laughed the most this year- and you know, those are really the only things I could ever hope for. I don’t live a complicated life, although the things around me tend to complicate themselves. I don’t expect much therefore reducing the chances of being disappointed. I fall easily but I always protect my heart and ironically, the person I told myself I would guard it from the most has captured it completely.

So 2011, I really don’t know if I should bid you a big fat “farewell” or hold on to you a little longer but, because the past is only a good place to visit and never to stay in- au revoir, bitch!

 So allow me to break down the year.

So I usually do this basically how it goes, I post pictures from the month that deem significance and reminisce, we shall.

January:

“Established my blog [www.littleblacksheepfashion.blogspot.com]

Finished my 30 Day White V-neck Shirt Challenge

Cheated on the day before Sinulog by wearing a purple round neck.

Celebrated the night before Sinulog by playing beer pong with my mother.

Had the wildest Sinulog in my life- so far.

Nothing can top that Sinulog.

Went to the CIRCUS,

February:

And wished for time to slow down …

Before having to send papa off to the States.

These last 10 months have definitely been bittersweet. I’ve done so much without my papa around but at the same time I feel like our family has lost so much as well. There hasn’t been a single day that passes that I don’t miss him and as much as it scares me sometimes, I cannot wait for the day that we become a complete family again.

I guess the old saying never fades, you never really know what you have until it’s gone.

Going back..

I passed Spanish by conforming to public humiliation

Longed to feel infinite in the form of tunnel passageways.

Celebrated our 1st year anniversary with Paolo Climaco. Or should I say the first?

Woke up to rose petals and breakfast and lots of love letters.

 

March:

Spear headed a fun run with my batchmates

Which eventually landed me a job with Summit Natural Drinking Water [www.summitsportsphils.com]

This really is one thing I take pride in. The Run for Youth is something I’m always going to look back on and gleam about. To actually say that “we did that!” despite all the shit that was thrown our way makes me feel like a million bucks. I may be penniless now but I still feel like a king.

Definitely good times.

I cried tears of joy. 

I hosted my first event for a thousand-ish people [or close to it anyways]

Met an awesome set of people.

I miss you all very dearly.

And I took a risk

April:

Made new friends and lost some old.

Drank an ocean!

Goofed around with the family

Faked happiness. {this does not pertain to everyone in the picture. I’m pretty sure you know who I’m pertaining to! Please don’t be stupid.}

 

I asked you so many times to let me leave.

May:

Found myself in company of good friends

Allowed myself to be weird and not be ashamed of it

Decided I wanted to Tri.

JUNE:

Went back to school with a bang

Married my work

Met a lot of wonderful bloggers

 

Ended my relationship of 1 year and 4 months.

If there was one thing I wish I did when I was with Paolo was tell him that he meant a lot to me. I wish I kept the letters and the flowers and the little things he gave me. Sometimes I wish I thanked him more for waiting outside school for me for hours no matter how pathetic I thought it was. I was very loved and even until now, after everything’s been through, I know I still am.

 

We’ve stayed friends because I’ll admit; I cannot afford to lose him. He’s been a good friend, boyfriend and companion but although relationship statuses change, some feelings don’t. I don’t see myself being with him like that anymore but I look forward to being his friend and so far, we’ve been very good at that. Better than when we were together.

So if you’re reading this Pao, thank you for everything. It wasn’t the best ride but it’s one I will always remember.

 

JULY:

Ended a chapter of my life.

This made me depressed for a while.

Reinvented my look

It’s common knowledge that when a girl is mad, sad or looking for redemption- she’ll play with her hair. I was all those things. Us ladies think that in order to start over we need to make drastic changes and with that change, everything can start anew. Apparently for most of us (without any reference), our hair is the magic solution to that predicament. I don’t know if I ever found redemption after this hair cut but it’s nice to believe in something, anything sometimes. I don’t know what believing ever did to me either but heck.


Danced on stage for our acquaintance party

 

Put all my problems in a tiny bottle and left it on the dance floor

 

AUGUST:

Got a new boyfriend, Mr. Glide


Won first place at our annual CDU Fun Run

1st place, 40 something minutes. 6k

Not bad considering I was 5 minutes late and went through the wrong route

 


Won overall champion for the 10th year running for swimming

Placed 3rd for freestyle relay

I think about it now and maybe this was my redemption. Or it was a very good escape


September:

Fell for my long-time friend.

That was a good month, I would say. It didn’t work out, it would never have worked anyways (for obvious reasons) but for a while you gave me something to hold on to and you allowed me to believe in something that felt bigger than both of us, and for that, I am still grateful.

Lost a dog. Pepper, I miss you.

Slept at the back of a car.

Had an extremely successful 60K Ultra Marathon.

I am so blessed.


October:

Turned 21. Finally got that pizza I craved for for so long.

Went as a ballerina

Drank to remember.

Manoy Louie, you are missed.

 

November:

Fell in love with this little monster and her owner

Went through hell with this one.


December:

Found myself at a loss for words with this guy.

He’s like my best friend and favorite enemy and I’d rather not say so in simpler terms, he makes me very happy. He makes me rhyme, too.

No drama rama for this boy. You’ve read about him way too much already :3


Put myself in awkward situations

Blogged.


So I don’t know how I’m ending this year to be honest with you. But maybe it’s because I weigh more than 90 pounds and I’m not feeling the most festive right now . But I think about the year that has passed and I see all the good things and the bad things and I can only just be happy that I made it through all of that.

I have been blessed beyond compare and most of the times I don’t deserve half of the blessing that I’ve received. I’m most happy about God giving me the opportunity to create an image in the blogging universe in which we’ve created and that He has given me so many opportunities to feel loved and to love in return. But I’m most sad about not being able to be a complete family this Holiday season. [crying]

So that was my 2011. I’m stepping into 2012 with my head up with a glass in my hand and a new hope. The same dreams but a better heart- one that’s not so heavy and selfish and demanding.

I hope you all had a good year and I hope we all have a better one.

2011 was great but you gotta admit, I’m definitely glad THAT’s over!

I love you all.

ENJOY!

XX,

Issa Perez

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I May Not Be Much But I’ll Try To Best I Can

I can’t please everybody and I know that I’m a lot bad than I am good.

You are too good for me and I don’t know why you’ve chosen to stay with me.

But I promise to take care of you and to be with you and to be completely honest and to love you.

Whatever that means or however you can show it.

I may not be much and I may not be enough for you or to other people but I will try.

 

You make me want to bottle this happiness for a bad day because I don’t think that anyone can make me as happy as you do. I know that that’s probably not the most logical thing to say but fuck what my mind thinks, my heart says that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My heart thinks a lot of things that I will never have the courage to tell you like “I love you” and “I never want this to end” and that I miss you the second you say good-bye. My mind tells me that one day you will go away but my heart says that I am never going to let that happen to us. We have a good thing and this happiness, well; it feels real so I’m going to lay it all on the line for you.

I like the way you look at me and how you I can never be mad at you.

I like how I get butterflies and chills down my spine despite my thinking that things like this are easily fleeting.

I like how the thought of you makes me smile and how I would do anything to keep being with you. Within reason, of course.

I like how I’m not so mad at the world anymore and how you make me want to be better. Not different, but better.

I like how I can survive not being with or around you but how I would still choose watching you play Skyrim at any time of the day any day.

I like how we get along so well.

I like the fact that you know me so well and how you tell me things about you that make me feel like I know you a little more than anyone else does.

I like how you smell, your smile, your arms, the way you laugh and that goofy look on your face when you do.

I like how you’re my best friend and I am not afraid of you or of what you think of me.

How you chose me despite everything and how I would never change a thing about us or how we started or why we chose to to begin with.

And although most of the time I confuse you logic and your emotions, I would not change a thing. You are everything awesome and I am right where I am supposed to be- in your arms. 

This Long Road

I always appreciate the long talks I share with Paolo. Well, not all of them are long especially when we have good music playing in the background because I always phase out. But nevertheless, most of the conversations I have with him are good ones.

Earlier in the car we happened to talk about relationships and how hard they can be. I shared how I always figured that if it’s a relationship you’re supposed to be in then it wouldn’t be so complicated. If it’s a relationship that you’re “meant” to be in then it wouldn’t involve so much drama.

But then again, who am I to talk right?

And then I realized how lucky I am right now to have all the things that I have right now. Actually, I realize it all the time but you know, it was just one of those days when you find yourself sitting in the car and you think that there is nothing else you could want because you have it all.

I also realized that it took a long time to get here- to actually be this happy. It took a lot of loosing and finding myself. A million tears and laughs. Lessons learned and battles fought. But it seems like it all paid off. Or it’s too soon to tell..

Life has been good to me and I shouldn’t complain. People may look at their lives and wonder why life is unfair but life’s like that. And it gets crappy and it gets better. But we always sow what we reap. We always do.

 

You have your friends, your good friends, your best friends and then you have Alex.

She’s astronomical.

Best friends forever ❤