I Thought I Was Only Allergic To Ugly People….

It’s 2 in the morning, my eyes are swollen and my face is super itchy.

What the hell did I have at that buffet???

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I am jealous of the things that I cannot change.

Old messages, birthday greetings, inside jokes, best days ever

Because I know that your love is pure- it always has been and it always be

And how am I any different from the ones that you have loved before me?

 

You have always been so careful, so secure

While I have always ran with my gut- my stupid, ignorant gut

And I was and always be lucky to have found you

 

But you, you never stumbled into me.

Or did you?

 

You chose me, you did it so carefully

And I don’t think that I am any different from your dead flames, forgotten crushes and old loves

 

Because I will never have the same impact on your life as you do to me.

 

I could go away and your life would have never changed.

 

And yet the moment you leave, my life would have never been the same.

 

Para-what? Paramore!

To all the boys I dedicated this song to and to the many hearts I used to have. harhar.

Now I really only have 1 heart and yey for not being 18 and naive anymore.

I’m over my 1 night egg induced quarter life crisis.

We can now resume to semi normal functioning, thankyouverymuch!

Low Standards and Weird Dreams

I just woke up from the gnarliest dream and of course, I’m going to write it down here.

I was to be wed and instead of a ring, I got a watch and a pug. I suddenly found myself pregnant and yet I was involving myself in “blind” art shows and fancy events that required me jumping over things in heels. Next thing I know, I was secretly buying a bride DIY notebook because pregnant me wanted to DIY it and I was scared to tell people I was getting hitched.

In between all of this chaos, I also recall a colorful parrot and bits and pieces of Tarzan and the jungle in my dream. Maybe I became Jane? Maybe we were friends? Maybe I was to be wed to a monkey? I can’t remember anymore….

Why am I such a weird person?

Life Update

I am knee high in backlogs but I have to work which will delay my regular postings EVEN MORE.

I have N number of half edited videos that just need my narration which will take me the next 3-4 days to finish on account that I have lost my voice. again. WHY KARAOKE?? WHY???

I cannot lose the last 2-4 lbs.

I have named my new laptop Paula because 1. she’s pretty like Paolo but 2. she’s not a boy (like Paolo)

I need a shoe rack and a table, for real. I’ve been saying this for like a year.

I’ve been getting more messages online telling me how they appreciate my blog/ vlog and how I am an inspiration to them. Makes me so happy. Also, it makes me so scared. I am just a girl, sitting in front of a computer screen and I also like to cuss a lot. 

And I am blogging instead of working. BYE NOW!