DAB [DENIAL] & [ACCEPTANCE]

DENIAL

I am no longer oblivious of the fact that it is not and it was never you.

ACCEPTANCE

And I have been ok with the thought that it will never be you.

It’s been a long time coming and I’ve finally had the time and the heart to write the end of this series. I am unapologetic, I am fearless and I am finally¬†free from the pain which comes with the thought of you.

I no longer look for you in familiar streets, I no longer miss the millions of memories I’ve shared with you in a million places I can never erase, I no longer miss you nor do I miss the thought of you… honestly, I don’t even remember you. Which is sad because I spent so much of my life with you. But it has truly come to that.

I am finally ok with knowing that I lost. I am ok knowing that we both failed but most of all, I am ok with the thought that it will never be me.

I am ok that we are strangers again and that we will never be friends.I am ok knowing that my world has to change completely while your life will always be the same.

I have finally accepted that it was as much as my fault as it was yours. I have accepted that if we were meant to be together then this never would have happened but it did but I know God has something greater for me so I am grateful that this happened. I am finally ok with the things that I cannot change- the years, the plans that never came through, the billions of feelings, the loss, the losing you… I am finally ok.

I thought this would be a lot harder to write, like how it was hard to get you out of the corner of my room were I carefully tucked you into. The books are hidden, the photos are gone and so is the pain I used to feel whenever I thought about you and with that, I am at peace and I hope you are, too. I am finally at peace with the thought of you.

Goodbye.

 

Ghost (Writing)

I need another sideline aside from ghosting for this wedding blog which cannot be named.

All the photos are so beautiful and it makes me cry every single time.

Weddings are so beautiful- I fucking hate them.