Gaping Holes

It’s the morning after you left and it feels a lot more quiet now even when it’s usually mom’s voice we hear in the background. The sound of your voices together always sounded like the nicest song to listen to in the morning.

“… no matter what we are still blessed.”

“… families should be together.”

I miss you so much already.

Now there’s an empty seat at the table, there’s an empty place in the car, there’s always one person missing from my sight, a missing spot on the bed.

I will never get used to not having you here. So everyday my heart will ache til you’re home with us again.


Time & Distance

I have a problem with time. I have 1 day left, 4 days- I don’t know if I want it to come sooner or to last longer.

I have a problem with distance because I can never be too close to you.

I have a problem with never getting enough of you. Here I am dreading the coming hours when I have to say goodbye to you.

I hate hello’s that lead to goodbyes.

Papa, I wish you could stay.

In 12 Days…

We will have a concrete wall to ourselves which we will turn into a home and it will be ours.

One day, in 10 years or so, we will drive by it in our minivan, with the kids at the back and we’ll show them where we built our lives together.

3rd floor, 2nd from the right- 3 freakin’ floors, I’d be glad to climb everyday to get to you.

I can’t wait. I can’t wait to be with you!

Short Pauses

I asked the Lord to fill up my days with activities that would make me a better person, give me more opportunities, meet more people, grow, be a promising adult/ person and to allow me to feel a sense of accomplishment. And He heard the 1 million things I’ve asked for and provided.

I am blessed beyond comprehension, I say that to myself everyday. I have no time to feel sad or be ungrateful (or work on my IG!).

Thank you for always providing! 🙏🏻