Dear Irene

You’ve been popping up a lot of my memories lately- photos, banters, an exchange of good conversations and the like.

I always wonder what would’ve happened if the worse never happened- what kind of things we would do, passions we would turn into projects and burgers we would eat like we said but never really got to.

I think about you quite often even if we weren’t childhood friends or kabarkada. You were always someone who I looked up to and a lot of good memories I have were because of you. And so dear friend, I am always mourning for you.

I wanted to leave a comment on a beautiful memory but I knew you wouldn’t reply so I left it as what it was- a memory. But I were to, it would’ve been along the lines of “I MISS THIS! Let’s do it again soon!” as you would eagerly reply to with, “YES! When I’m back in Cebu!”

That’s the thing with memories- sometimes they haunt you and sometimes they leave you missing for things you never really knew you had.

I hope you’re doing fine wherever you are. I hope you found what you were looking for. And I hope in your passing, you knew that I was always your friend.

You are always missed.

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I am so incredibly tormented by the thoughts that I have when I am not controlling them. The dreams I have trouble waking up from. That constant nagging fear and obsession with trying to figure out why they are what they are and where they’re coming from.

I am afraid to close my eyes. I am suddenly so afraid of a million things and I don’t know where they are coming from.

Guess Where I Found Myself Today…

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I am so blessed, I have no reason whatsoever to compare & complain.

Thank you, Lord, for my voice/ my thoughts that you think are worthy for others to hear, for the endless opportunities and for constantly making my life better.

A year ago, I was praying for a better life- you gave me more than I deserve.

Thank you.