It was magical. It’s been magical.

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The Night Before…

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I was told to get a lot of sleep because I haven’t been much lately. It’s been nerve wracking & stressful but not this part- I am already proud of the work I have done and the work I can put in and that I WILL put in. I do not question that.

I am proud of the content and the advocacy behind it and my heart, now I can only just sit back and see how the world takes it. But beyond that, I will not question if I worked hard enough for it or if i am good enough to do it. I’m not gonna stress myself out like that. I just need to work hard, work smart , pray and trust that God will give me what He thinks is best for me. I’m ok with this. It is settling.

I’m so excited though. If I’m being completely honest. I am soo excited. I’m probably more excited about everything that’s happening more than getting married. I know that sounds weird but I say this because now I can finally be married. I can finally just do the things that make me happy and excited and maybe this time I can be happier.

So we’ll see what happens tomorrow. For the first time in a long time, I am excited about tomorrow.

Marriage Is Weird

Paolo & I aren’t on speaking terms right now because of something I did or rather… Did not do.

But he bought us dinner tonight and milk tea so I think that means he still loves me.

Ironically, all the food he ordered was spicy so I don’t really understand if he’s sorry or he wanted to torture me and the milktea as an afterthought 😂

Marriage is weird. I don’t know if I love it, hate it, regret it (sometimes). It’s just weird.

This weekend is Influencity and I’m saving my earnings to apply for a Visa because I haven’t stopped missing my family at all. Not even a tiny little bit.

You’d think that after marriage I’d be so excited and just want to be a wife but nothing much has really changed in our lives aside for the fact that we’ve gotten 10x busier so I think I am allowed to want to go places and do things.

Besides its feels like awfully long time since I’ve gotten on a plane but also, it was literally only about 6 months ago. Lol.

Night

This is Paolo on a Monday night. He is currently building me a “frame light” because ring lights are too big & bulky. I also really need this for doing make up at night and he’s a doll for setting this up for me.

I love him so much. Thank you for being handy.

The Dust Has Officially Settled

Without a doubt, the number question people will ask you after you get married is- so, how’s married life?

It was cute at first- you’re on a wedding high and everything is great- but after a while, especially when nothing in your life has changed, it gets annoying… and then it starts to get depressing.

Honestly, I suck at being a wife and I also feel like I can’t catch a break.

I feel like nothing I’ve been doing lately has been working out for me. The business is blah, all my friends are either not in Cebu; are busy with their kids or are busy, I can’t get a part time job, my clients haven’t paid me- I’m essentially broke, I’ve been having killer anxiety and stomach flus and it’s sort of making me resent the universe.

I just… wish I was in a better place, yk? mentally, financially, emotionally.

I wish I was more sure of myself.

And I also fucking wish my grandmother would stop bragging about who I married because it really makes me feel like I equate to nothing.

7 Days Later

A week ago Paolo & I got married. I woke up early (FIRST!), we actually managed to fill up a church and show up on time, we said our I do’s to each other & to God and we spent the rest of the night partying it up with (almost) everyone we love. It was pretty amazing.

Everyone is now asking me what being married feels like and while I joke and say that nothing much has changed, everything has changed.

I am now a wife. And not just anyone’s wife, Paolo’s wife. I am my best friends’ wife. Do you know how amazing that feels like? For one, we’re not “hiding” the fact that we live together and our union has been blessed by God, our friends and family. It’s special. It sounds silly to me that a ceremony changed all that but that’s just how it feels.

The dust has barely settled. I’m still swamped in photos and congratulations’, I barely have time to go to through photos, I have to go back to work, my secretary is leaving me in exactly a week and I still don’t have a replacement for her, family is still over, the house is a mess but I’m still on a chaotic; euphoric high.

In a couple of weeks, our life will return to normal and we’ll be entering the “real” married life- whatever that’s like. Honestly, I’m excited for our lives to actually start. I’m ready for the highs, the lows, the normal-ness of it all. I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with Paolo, as I always have been, it’s just crazy that this moment is finally here.

And so to my husband of 7 days exactly, this entire week has been a dream. A dream come true. Thank you for buying me kitchenware and for allowing me to spend time with my family and friends, for waking up every morning and calling me your wife with a smile on your face as if it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Thank you for waiting up for me and for giving me the peace I never thought I could ever have and for choosing to spend the rest of your life with me. Thank you for you for you.

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xx,
Mrs. Jean Louise I. Perez- Gandionco

Ms.- Mrs.

In 7 days, I will officially be a wife. No longer a bride but a wife to the man I have pledged to spend the rest of my life with. It seems like the easiest thing in the world to do/ be.

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks what with the last minute preparations, non stop celebrations and most of all, people flying in. I have to say, I am the MOST touched and humbled at the amount of people who have actually taken the time to fly in and witness Paolo & I get married.

Quite honestly, I don’t have a million friends but it is soo nice to know that the little friends that I do have have gone above and beyond to be with us on one of the most important days of our lives. It’s just so freakin’ surreal!

Papa and Miguel are finally home and it feels great to finally be a complete family again. There’s nothing like the sound of our laughter filling up a room and bonding with one another.

I am also blogging on the brand new MacBook Air that they got me (and Paolo) as a wedding gift. It’s really for me but Paolo is allowed to touch it.

I keep getting asked if I’m excited to get married or what it feels like to be almost wed. Honestly, things feel the same but the air is different. Everything is a little bit brighter and the people are lighter and you’re obviously constantly the centre of attention but between Paolo and I- it doesn’t really feel like things are really going to change. I’m ok with that. I mean, I don’t necessarily want them to unless if we finally decide to have kids.

I still have to finish my vows and all the other stuff I need to do for the wedding.

Good luck, Issa.

Weeks & Days

This week we celebrated our last monthsary as boyfriend and girlfriend

In about a month from now, we’ll be married

Today we will be sending out our invitations

Tomorrow we’ll be fitting your suit

In 20 days our friends and family will be home to celebrate with us

In 28 days all this chaos will be over

But it will still be you and me

Forever

And that’s all I’ve ever prayed for